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RESPECT: The Importance of the father Position or the male energy in a family

Bert Hellinger, the creator of Family Constellations, explains in several of his live conferences on Youtube that in countries where there is alcoholism among men, women do not respect them. It is hard to tell what came first, the chicken or the egg, but it reminds me of a dog trying to catch its tail but let's look deeper.


Hellinger explains that men who are revoked of their roles and are not respected look for fulfillment to satisfy their emotional void in addiction. He continues by saying that women may see themselves as givers and takers of life and thus consider themselves at times superior and more akin to God. This sets them above men as family caregivers and aggravates the system.


Being respected by women through imposition via fear and violence is not the respect that Hellinger speaks of. It is the respect directed by men who know how to treat their women correctly and allow them to stand in their place as co-creators of the family, each parent offering their particular gifts to the lineage.


No one explains this relationship better than the Kogui mamos of Colombia's Sierra Nevada. Mamo Alberto explains that, as men in the tribe see women as the physical representation of Gaia, women are treated with love and respect. When the women feel protected and respected, the men feel nourished. In this cycle, they seek the best ways for the families' well-being, which ultimately is their well-being. This comes not from a plac


e of inferiority but from a place of "the one who knows."


This also brings to mind northern indigenous teachings in which male energy is the force where directions come through the female energy is the one that sustains. Science shows us this with current traveling from positive to negative poles, like lightning striking through clouds down on earth.


In same-sex couples, I believe the energy can be seen in the same way, in which each person respects the other's knowledge and may feel the same adverse effects if one of the members falls out of place because of his family imbalance.


Why is this important to look at? Hellinger suggests that the men or male energy be included and returned to their place if you have children having issues with addictions of any sort. With the support of the male figure, the need to fill the void with addiction may be healed.






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